Poem: Subtext

Was there subtext to what you said?
Or was it all in my head?
We sneak glances across the room
but I can’t tell
if you want something more with me.
I can never discern these things correctly.
Well, a piper picked some peppers
while I pick people that put their heart with others.
There’s no nursery rhyme that can comfort my soul.
No fairy tale with a happy ending to make me whole.
So I’ll find reasons to dislike you while I grow old
alone.

I’m kind of big deal;
I’m just kidding, for real.
My mind jumps back and forth
between the two as I feel
my way through empowerment
and I’m a coward when
I don’t listen to words and the
logic of appeal.
I kneel down but no words come out,
so I don’t pray the things that might heal
me; I’m just an automobile
freewheeling round ‘til my heart slides out.

I’m Torquemada and the tormented.
I’m a fire unvented.
I don’t feel like anything I do is inventive.
All these lines are the extent of
my feelings retentive;
they’ve stayed for longer
than I care to mention.
I’m hung up on the past.
I see no reason to relive it.
But I have no fuel in the tank
other than this incentive.
So I’ll relieve this pain through a mindset pensive.